Mr.
Matt
Spangler

Thank goodness someone brings a little sense of humor to the game sometimes. 

via peterwknox:

Weekend Winner: John Daly’s Pants [Last Night’s Winner]

Ha. Funny new Tumblr from my friend D-Lo with anecdotes of the annoying song requests he gets at clubs.

This reminds me of the night I was in a hotel room at the Gramercy with Sebastian Bach and Axl Rose and about 20 other people at 2 am. I sat next to a girl and started to talk to me and she was looking at pictures of Axl she has taken on her camera. She had a self important attitude to people around her I found insulting so I started to talk to her.

me: Who’s that
girl: Are you serious?
me: What are you talking about?
girl: That’s Axl Rose?
me: Who’s he?
girl: … (2 minute diatribe on the history of rock n’ roll etc)
me: (ignoring her) Man its like a jungle in here right now. 
girl: (no response)
me: I feel a little estranged at this party, are you having a good time? 
girl: Totally!
me: What’s your favorite song by this guy? 
girl: Sweet child of mine
me: Figures (at which time she realizes I know them and I walk away).

via canyouplaythatonesong:

girl: can you play some tupac?
dj: (playing dumb) who’s tupac?
girl: are you serious? you’ve never heard of tupac?
dj: nope. sorry!!  how do you spell it?
girl:  T…O…O…P…A…C

via juliasegal:

Well played…

Pure genius…and just in time for my Christmas shopping.

via soupsoup via petswhowanttokillthemselves:

It’s here!
The War and Peace of cute suicidal pet books hit the shelves today to change the face of literature as we know it. I don’t want to brag, but it’s getting better reviews than the new Philip Roth. If you like pets, America, books or shit jokes, you owe it to yourself to buy a gazillion now. They make perfect stocking stuffers, wedding presents and projectiles.
Support your local indie bookshop, unless it’s already gone out of business in which case order here.

thedailywhat:

Problem solved.

[via.]

HA!

via knowthisplease